Naba Hagmhmood
october,24 2017
. ESL 100
2nd Draft
                                                           A Close Wedding

the entrance 

People who hate weddings confuse me perhaps because I love them. I am from Sudan, and  have been in Chicago for more than three years . I often travel to Sudan, but only for a month or two. Because i spend time in the U.S more time than Sudan, I haven't been to a wedding for some time . Even when i go to Sudan, no one is getting married. I miss being in a wedding, especially a Sudanese wedding. There are so many different ceremonies, parties, and a way of dressing that we have. Because I have lived in Chicago for all these years and I am going to stay for a couple more I feel that I lost that joyful part of me in our lives that comes out only in weddings. When I lived in Sudan my family usually had a wedding every year. We still do, but i'm not there when there's a wedding.
When I lived in Sudan my family usually had a wedding every year. We still do, but I am not there when there is one.The invitations are sent out seven months before the wedding because  the wedding lasts for three months. The bride gets ready in a month and a half with something called "Dokhan," and no one outside her close can see her. The groom himself or his family also can not see her. “Dokhan” is a hole that is dug in the ground and has pieces of special wood that get lightly burned allowing heat  rise to the bride sitting on chair on top of the hole-and  and it's really close to sauna but it has a nice smell, and its good for the body .This kind of wood us Sudanese cant even find here that is why no bride can do this in the U.S. Also in Chicago if we try to do something like this either the house is going to burn or the neighbors are going to call

Dokhan

the police because they see smoke. Even though this in only for the bride, I miss it only if I am from the close family. When I'm with bride everyday helping her getting ready. I miss being a bridesmaid and having to worry about the easy things that the bride has to do. In Chicago the bride chooses one maid of honor, but in Sudan all of her cousins are her maids of honer. In the grooms family the only thing happening during this time is parties they probably have a party every two week until the wedding day. In Chicago everyone gathers up in one day and have a party and the wedding is finished.

My Henna

In addition in Sudan there is an amazing tradition that is called “henna”. Henna is a leaf from a tree called Sidra that gets crushed and mixed with water and we make drawings with it on our hands that come off after a week or two. It is nothing new in Chicago, but the reason that I lost this part in Chicago is because Sudan's henna is natural black henna when its on our hands. The ones here are chemicals, and the natural ones are red or brown. When there is a wedding in the US the bride puts on makeup and the dress and that is it. In Sudan, she has to have the Henna first. Then their is the ceremony that is called “ the brides Henna”. I no longer can do any of these things because, the henna is red and If I go I have to go alone and there will be no occasion. We cant have this tradition in Chicago because its a family thing and my family is not here, so people rather go to Sudan and have it there.

The bride's tobb and the Henna 

Beside the the “Dokhan” and the Henna the awaited day comes, which should be the best day. Both families from bride and groom gather in one place after having some pictures together. If we decide to have a wedding here who would go  to take pictures with us, of course friends can come, but it not the same. Because that family photo is memorable moment with your parents firstly so everyone can know that they approved this wedding after their gone. All Cousins are counted siblings, aunt from mothers side are counted real mother this photo is private moment of love and happiness shared just between this family. The rest of the joy we share with friends. Then the last ceremony starts. Both the bride and groom go and change their close the groom wears something the length of a dress, but not a dress and the bride wears a short red dress and a “Tobb” which  is a really long cloth that get wrapped around her hip and goes over her head and she covers her face with it like a

vale. During weddings people do not usually change what their wearing.               

Its really hard to have a wedding in Chicago like the weddings in Sudan. Because no matter how hard we try something will be missing.From the moment when we are just with the bride while she gets ready for almost two months or even parting with the groom to getting our hands drawn and designing our own dress to the big party it is something that I think i'm not going to find anytime sooner in Chicago. We do not have a celebration bigger than marriage. What I miss is not what I do during the wedding, but it is being apart of a wedding that miss. From what I said, it looks like what truly miss is a close wedding, so I can be part of the close family and be a part of every small detail. Like seeing the bride when others can't and being in the photo and just be there for everything. We get tired in these weddings from hosting the guests, to waking up early in the morning to helping in the kitchen. the whole family comes in one house in fact sometimes we have to rent a really big house or a villa for the family. There will be more than 100 people in one place. Also keeping the bride or groom rested and not needing a thing, but we come after years like today to remember and smile.

  

My Mom and Grandma putting Henna for my cousins 

My family and Me in one of the house parties

all of the people in the picture and more all stay in one house



"Joy"

the picture on the left is at my house, the one on the right in the studio waiting for the bride and groom to come and bottom one is out side our our house for just a small family party.